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Have you noticed that in all the happy times you have had, your were just focused on the moment? Memories of the past do not interfere and neither were you anxious about the future.
We
become unhappy when we reflect on the past unfavourably (box 1). Unfulfilled
wishes and past regrets have a way of making their presence felt in the
present that we are often powerless to resist. The dashed arrow from Box
1 to Box 2 means that the more we dwell on the past (box 1), the harder
it is to enjoy the present moment (box 2). A big Box 1 produces a small
Box 2 because dashed arrows are inverse relationships. Likewise to have
a big Box 2, we need a small Box 1. There is a tug of war between Box
1 and Box 2. Happy people have small Box 1 and big Box 2. Unhappy people
suffer from big Box 1 and small Box 2. A tug of war exists between Box
1 and Box 2. The balance of power is determined by Box 3 - Unlearned lessons
from the past.
If we have no unlearned lessons from the past, the balance of power will be in favor of Box 2. If there are many unresolved past issues, then power shifts to Box 1 and we have unhappy lives. Before we can be happy, we need to resolve the issues created by our past. We want to make Box 3 as small as possible because the dashed arrow from Box 3 to Box 2 suggest a Big Box 3 will produce a small Box 2 and a big Box 1.
Another
cause of unhappiness which robs us from enjoying the present is anxiety
over the future (box 1 in Map 2). Planning (box 3) helps to reduce our
anxiety. Introducing some routine makes our lives more predictable. Note
that the form of Map 2 similar to Map 1 - A tug of war between Box 1 and
Box 2 with Box 3 determining which side is ascendant and hence if we are
happy or unhappy people.
If we know our purpose for living (box 4 in Map 3 above), we will learn the lessons of the past (box 3a) much faster. We will also make better decisions and make better use of our time, i.e., our planning will improve (box 3b). This will cause the tug of war to shift in favor of "Living in the Present" (box 2a = box 2b).
Discovering life's purpose takes time and patience. Make it an enjoyable journey of discovery. As your responsibilities grows, your life's purpose should become clearer and sharper. This will help you sharpen "learning from the past" (box 3a) and "planning for the future" (box 3b). Our lives become more aligned with our purpose and we are much happier. This is the Present.
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